ooooo. fun.

1) The lady who talks on her cell phone while taking a dump.

2) Lunch stealers, its why i now bring a cooler to work.

3) The "this is why youre fat" crew, who eat junk and then ask me how i stay so skinny.

4) The "technology" phobes who cannot change the toner in the copier because they dont know how that durned contraption works! is there a monkey in there, har har.

5) the loud hallway talkers, who think i want to know how their weekend went, or what their blood pressure is, or who was voted out of dancing with the stars.

6) THe post it and Pen stealers who take them out of my office instead of going to the supply room upstairs.

7) the stinky lunch people who insist on bringing stank lunches to heat up in our one microwave. I swear it was a full diaper once.

I can put up with almost anything....the one thing I really hate is that I have two particular co-workers that don't do their share. And lately, I have been the one picking up their slack! It makes me cranky cuz I am slammed with my own stuff to do, too!

1. People who make a zillion copies then don't replace the paper... so I end up having to do it to make my one copy.

2. We have one lady in our office that is so loud. Seriously, we judge if she's in for the day if we can hear her or not... and she's in the furthest office in the back.

3. People who walk around spraying air freshener for no reason. They spray so much it makes me gag.

4. People who need to scream over the cubicles and between offices instead of picking up the phone, sending an email, or (what a concept) getting up and walking to that person.

5. The one lady who can't pick up the news paper in the mornings. She refuses to bend her lazy ass over, pick the paper up, and take it in. Apparently she thinks the fairies do it. (In other words me or my other coworker who gets to work early.) That one really ticks me off....

There is a group of people in every workplace which seems to have escaped from the 1000 acre woods. I wrote a whole dissertation on it. Basically....

Winnie-the-pooh: The person who blunders through everything but ends up still smelling like roses.

Rabbit: The performance-driven maniac who is also so detail oriented that you want to stomp on them...because nothing anyone does will please them.

Piglet: Is the mild-mannered air-head which means well....at least you really REALLY hope they are.

Tigger: The ra-ra cheerleader of the bunch who bounces into the office and back out of it...and all of you wish you could see that person's job description because you aren't really sure they actually work.

Eeyore: This person hates their job, does everything possible to find someway to make everyone around them as miserable as they are...all the while insisting that nobody does as good a job as they do. Ironically, when things go wrong this person is the first place everyone looks.

Kanga and Roo: The office mentor and their little minions which do all the little dirty work...interns. Don't mess with the mentor's interns...she guards them like her own offspring but will toss one under the bus if something goes wrong.

Owl: Wise and quiet this person is usually in IT....hiding and reading every one's email. It is part of their job. You come to them when you need magic on your computer or something deleted before anyone else finds it. They can be bribed and expect it.

Heffalumps and Woozles: HR and their minions of terror. You know they are there lurking and waiting to pounce. Supervisors sometimes are included in this bunch.

.......me....I fade into the woods...do my work and move on. I am sometimes that blustery day which comes in and leaves everyone changed in some way. Hopefully it was in a good way.
I am the writer... the one with all the toys...the coordinator of all the articulations of those around me....and the one they blame if it isn't entertaining enough.

Do people really steal lunches? Not cool. I think I can agree with everything you guys have said so far. Most things that really irk me are related to noise and smell.

Lack of smarts in the "how to behave in a social setting" gets to me too (again, related to my office mate). I should cut him some slack because he isn't from Canada, but seriously... who asks to borrow nail clippers? That's gross.

I had an office mate who would steal my tampons out of my desk drawer and then when I needed them all I found was an empty box.

I used to work with a girl who would BLARE music in the mornings in her cube, this was a big room all cubes. Ok whatever, no one was making calls yet, but then she'd walk away from her desk for like 20/30 min letting her music just play on repeat blaring. Drove me nuts!!

My other peeve is this lady who b*tches about having to stay late but chats her whole day away and pisses away time. Uhhh, learn some time management skills and then you don't have to stay late. You aren't fooling anyone.

At the lab where I used to work, we were serious coffee drinkers. There was one woman that would never, ever make coffee. I mean EVER. It was kind of an unwritten rule....if you took the last bit of coffee, you made a fresh pot. Especially in the morning, when we'd blow through 3-4 pots before lunchtime. She'd take the last bit, then sneak off to her office. Or claim she was just too busy to make a new pot.

She was also notorious for taking the FIRST bit of coffee that came out of a fresh pot. I don't know if it's scientifically proven, but I think that first bit of brewed is like an espresso shot! Not to mention it typically ruined the taste of the rest of the pot.

That sh*t drove me nuts. For those of us that actually made the coffee on a regular basis, we'd take turns standing guard at the coffee pot to keep her away while it brewed.

Temperature wars...have of the office is freezing and the other is burning up. Tempers flare when people are uncomfortable.

Blues, I also hate the coffee snipers who just take that first shot and leave the rest of us with nothing! Its why i bring my own giant thermos, and my coffee smells so much better than theirs now! ha ha

My biggest pet peeve is people coming in sick. I don't mean the sniffles, but if you are hacking up a lung at your desk its time to go home.

Haus, we have several people here who always do the "woe is me" thing about having so much work to do, but talk all day and move at a snail's pace. I could give two sh!ts about it, except that my boss insists that I help them with their work and I can't leave until they do. They are hourly and I am salaried, so you can imagine who has more incentive to stay later.

My current biggest pet peeve at work is people literally CONSTANTLY calling my name throughout the day. And the one woman that does it in a very loud and startling voice. Each time she does it I literally jump out of my chair.

Also, at least once a week while we are discussing news stories this girl gets all annoyed and says, "You guys are so depressing. I don't watch the news because I can't stand to hear about this depressing stuff." Yes, because it makes it so much better to crawl under a rock and pretend like the world is sunshine and lollipops.

The temp worker, who my boss drools over (and isn't even remotely attractive) and gives more opportunity to than anyone in my office, even though we are full time employees. That's annoying in and of itself. But whenever my boss is gone at a meeting- which is a lot- she whines, "Where's Ryan?" at least 3 times. Also the fact that she talks in a whisper to her boyfriend on the phone, but I can still hear her and it makes me want to vomit. And her sickly sweet voice and laugh that she uses with nearly everyone on the phone.

Tiff I had a problem with people calling my name too, I shut my door and they have to call me now!!

I wish I had the luxury of shutting my door. I did before I moved to this job, but now it's cubes. I truly almost lost it one day last week, my name was called so many times.

Temperature wars! Hate them!

I can't stand it when people clip their nails at work.

Who clips their nails at work? Ewww....maybe my co-workers aren't so bad....after reading everyone's comments here, my workplace doesn't seem so awful! LOL

Ugh... that makes me shiver just thinking about it. Nasty.

What? someone clips their nails? not their toenails right? please say its not the toes!

I know, Martini! Why would you clip all of your nails at work? I can understand the occasional clippage when you, like, snag your nail on something, but there are a couple people here who clip every single one! Drives me bonkers.

Besides that though, my co-workers aren't bad at all. I really like the people I'm with 40 hours a week!

CG - I have never gone to see what nails they are clipping - so in the summer time, I suppose anything goes!

Ew ew ew ew ew.....

yicky.

the deal stealer, food stealer, the mister know it all but really doesn't know anything, the big shot who does absolutely nothing at all, the "I'll help myself to your supplies without asking" the fashionista...etc

I work mostly with women old enough to be my mother, but that doesn't mean they don't drive me insane.

1. Drama queens: We have two women who are super drama queens. Every negative comment about anything, is some how a personal attack on them. They think everybody is out to get them and everybody is soooo mean to them. They break out crying in front of customers and run crying to the boss. They get into yelling matches with people over nothing.

Also the two drama queens also happen to be hypochondriacs and when they think they are sick, they are much much worse.

2. Sick time jerks: I agree with Roar that people who come in super sick are very annoying. If they don't feel well, then they would stay home instead of infecting the rest of us with their germs and crappy attitudes.

But at my work, some people save the sick time for something called "sick incentive" We get a half day's more vacation time for every quarter we don't call in sick. Kind of a silly incentive.

Others like to save the sick time for when they aren't actually sick but want to use the time while they don't feel crappy. But these are the same people, who if some one calls out on a Friday, they will say they are just extending their weekend.

3. Super secret secretiveness: When people have conversations that are supposed to be private in the back room, and then you feel like you are not supposed to be in the work area. When they huddle and whisper, it is just annoying. Go to an office!!

We are a small staff. There is only about a dozen full timers. Yet when major things are going to happen, that will effect all of us, there are about 5 people who always know what is going to go down. And they will have all there not so top secret secret conversations about it and make sure the rest of us don't know what is going on until absolutely necessary. That is very annoying because it encourages speculation from those of us who have no idea what is going on. In this time of a crappy economy, this happens a lot.

Also, we voted for 3 co workers to serve on a committee to find a new director, now those who we voted for as our representatives, refuse to discuss what is going on with the committee. You are our reps. We voted for you. Stop keeping us in the dark!

I also work with mostly older women, I am one the youngest here, i always hear "your a youngin" all the time, as if my age means I am automatically an idiot.

I feel your pain on the age thing. There is one girl young than me (she's 24, I think). Everyone else is 45+... so they always feel the need to dish out life and work advice to us younger girls.

It's not that I don't value good advice, but I've been doing something right to make it this far, you know?

If I say I am tired i get "youre too young to be tired"
If I say that my weekend seemed short i get "wait till you are my age"
If I complain about the computer i get "we didnt even have computers when i started!"

it gets monotonous.

do they guilt trip you gals too?

Cg I get the same exact crap! It is infuriating!

Many of the women I work with actually do have children my age, so I get mothered a lot! It took years before I was taken seriously and I still get the "youngin'" crap.

Many of the women I work with actually do have children my age, so I get mothered a lot!

Oh my lord, I hate when they do that. Especially my boss. I love her, but my age is right in between her two daughters. So sometimes she gets a little too motherly for my taste.

Plus, being a recruiter, when I interview older women, they always look at me like "What's this little young thing doing interviewing me?" Whatever.

hahahaha we once had an older lady who had kids my age. she once told me and some of our interns that she should get more space because "we're used to being crammed into small places like the library" wtf?

Myst , they do guilt trip alot.

The worst thing is them acting like they are my mother, they think they can overstep boundries to "mother" me.

Example: I was seperated from my husband, who these gals have never met and they never will, I had never spoken bad of him, never told them why. BUT they had their little gossip gears going and just assumed things....I bruise easily (you can see where this is going right?) and always have (its that norwegian blood i suppose) well one of the Harpies saw some bruises on my arms and she CALLED MY MOTHER (who happens to work for the same company but in a different town) and TOLD HER that my HUSBAND WAS ABUSING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mom told this woman that she appreciated her concern, but that my marriage was none of her business and that in my family we dont keep secrets and certainly dont gossip about things we know nothing about, and reported this woman to HR.

Ok, CG, that is completely crossing the line - did this woman get fired? (I hope!)

Way, way, way over the line.

No she didnt get fired, she got written up and I am no longer her secretary. I havent said one word to her since and that was 3 years ago!

Good grief CG...I hope they fired her.

Speaking of Fired, we fired a nurse who had been here for 25 years....and she came back with her grandkid and stole a bunch of stuff out of the office, the funny thing was she didnt steal the big ticket items: computers, cell phones, etc.....No this woman stole door decorations, knick Knacks, staplers, plaques.....we called her the Tchotchke bandit.

Maybe she thought it was better to steal things that mattered to people... or she thought mattered to people.

thats what we thought too. sentimental things....sucks to get arrested over a stapler though!

i always steal the post its and the sharpies.

I knew it was you Haus!

Colored paperclips are my thing. I collect them in my desk drawer.... my pretty colored paperclips! Bwah ha ha!

I worked at one hospital for 9 years, had bought ALL the decorations for each season, and in fact was the one who planned and paid for most of the employee gatherings we had. When the hospital closed I took that "stuff" because I had paid for it.

One woman said it was tacky for me to do that...to which I said "Funny, you never bothered to pitch in and help pay for any of this but enjoyed every party I planned...so you seem far more tacky in my opinion."

My tax person way back then made me write it all of as business expenses. I had a letter from the CEO requesting I decorate and do all the parties...followed by one which said I would not be reimbursed. The IRS laughed but gave me the write off.

In hospitals there are things which come up "missing" a lot but they won't replace it as they consider it part of "your equipment" so it ends up in your lap to buy another.

My stethoscope was something I had to replace constantly and those things aren't cheap. Finally I used bright green florescent paint on the ear pieces...and no longer does mine turn up missing.

i'm a sucker for office supplies. i could browse staples for hours...

Nothing like the smell of office supplies wafting through the air at Staples. One of my top 5 favorite smells!

CG, that is awful!!!

I've thought of some more:

Being copied on countless emails that have nothing to do with you.

My boss picks up the phone when I am mid-sentence, no matter who it is. He does this to everyone, in meetings, etc. He just cannot let his phone go to voicemail.

The woman in our office that orders the office supplies is very controlling about the supplies. Whenever I ask for a few pens (because she keeps them all at her desk), she will only give me 1 at a time. If I want to, I have to plead. I ran out of paper clips and she would not order more because someone had apparently took a bunch home and was supposed to be bringing them back.

Whenever I ask for a few pens (because she keeps them all at her desk), she will only give me 1 at a time.

UGH! That is completely obnoxious!

we have an office manager nazi too! god forbid you trade chairs with an empty office she will come down on you with a righteous anger!